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WOMAN SUCCUMBS TO HER PARTNER IN A NAIL BITING MATCH AT THE INTERNATIONAL DISHWASHER LOADING FINALS.

A strong first half saw the woman lead for the majority of the game but missed opportunities in the final term resulted in a disappointing finish. Here is how the match unfolded.

A traditional rivalry started off fiery in the first quarter, with the woman claiming the upper drawer minutes into opening the dishwasher. Despite being stalled by an argument about who should have unpacked last night’s load, her meticulously stacked fine bone china, glassware and plastics came through as the first goal of the day. From there it was a see-saw through to the final minutes with her rival on the hunt to move her carefully ordered dessert bowls out of logical position and into the lower drawer. In the second quarter, fired up by the competition, her opponent took the reward in the seventh minute after her repeated stacking proved fruitless. Her reply came in the form of a nicely placed cutting board, knowing full well her opponent would remove it as soon as her back was turned. From there the contest was tightly held. Her opponent had the final say on the siren, suggesting she’d over-stacked the cutlery basket. But early in the next quarter she pushed back and unsettled him by deliberately not rinsing gravy off two dinner plates. Determined to get her second goal of the day, she showed composure and rearranged her component’s mindless placement of Tupperware lids, finishing the quarter with a snide comment about why he’d bothered to buy rinse aid, and firmly holding her position by completely redoing the top drawer in which he had carelessly placed three items, leaving no room for anything else. The fourth term started in the best way possible, with a certainty off the bottom rack as the woman placed knives, point down. But in line with the theme of the match, the opponent hit back with teaspoons, handle up. Relying on an old move to agitate his opponent, he turned off the power before the cycle had ended. From there it was a scoring blur, with both sides trading majors on the board. Attacks in the form of rearranging the entire cutlery basket and complete removal of a Baccarat saucepan ensured the woman progressed the term with an eight-point advantage. But her opponent worked steadily into the game to finish one step ahead due to a surprising display of confidence about where exactly to pour the rinse aid, and finally racked up twelve minutes on economy cycle.

By Jo Broom.

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