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Following several weeks of stage four lockdown and homeschooling a woman has realised she can’t be arsed.

“In 2019 I used to plan and prepare meals” said the lethargic woman “but these days it gets to 7pm and I think to myself, “Oh, there’s nothing for dinner, I’d better order pizza.” The woman who up until this point had been diligently homeschooling her children, said “Now I just read over their assigned tasks for the day and then go and have a good lie down.” The listless woman also told reporters “I’ve been thinking I could declutter the house and start learning French. But on second thoughts, “nah.” Reports said the woman had initially spoken of plans for the day but they seemed to have gone out the window. “This afternoon I thought I might clean the toilets and empty the dishwasher but it didn’t sound very appealing, so I decided not to.” The apathetic woman told reporters, in the early days when lockdown was still a bit of a giggle, she and the kids did a daily power walk, but in more recent weeks the kids said they didn’t feel like it so she said “Ok.” When asked what she intends to do about this problem, the languid woman replied, “I tried being motivated and enthusiastic last week but found it a bit tiring.” Reporters told the woman she should probably try to come up with a solution if she can be arsed.

(Reporter – Jo Broom)

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