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A woman was admitted to the intensive care unit yesterday after what can only be described as a gruelling ten minutes of homeschooling. Apparently the woman had gone into it with guns blazing, all full of ideas and hopeful for a day of positive productivity but within minutes it had turned into a total shit storm. “My son said he didn’t feel like doing anything and my daughter kept asking me questions” said the distraught mother of two. Doctors say the woman tried bribing the children with choc chip muffins and a jump on the trampoline but that just didn’t cut it. “I put them in separate rooms to minimise distraction but as soon as I attended to one, the other child would call me. It was all very distressing and I had to keep putting my wine down.” said the woman. The woman is now in a stable condition and doctors say, given time, they are hopeful she will make a full recovery. The children have been taken into custody and police agree they are quite annoying.

(Reporter: Jo Broom) 

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